My Entertainment is Not Entertaining

DAY 252 - 26/9/9 -

Lately, it's been hard to do anything without thinking about my book. People ask me, "How was your weekend," and I say, "I found a formatter and I'm working on the cover reveal." Then they ask, "Anything else?" "Yep, I watched the sunset with a friend, and that reminded me of my fourth chapter." Much of my life keeps relating to my work, even the movies and books I choose for entertainment.

Everything I read and watch makes me think of my work.

I saw Project Hail Mary (2026) for the first time, and I didn't enjoy it. I wanted to think, "Look how cool outer space is. And such a unique musical score!" But nope. My mind kept thinking, "This narrative keeps its tension low by staggering its moments of suspense, which allows the film to be a low-stress experience." I was too busy thinking about how others might take in this movie for me to take it in for myself.

This keeps happening, especially with books. Last year I read some young adult novels so I could see how authors in my genre handle similar tropes. This year I wanted my reading to be relaxing, so I purposefully selected books outside of my genre. I read classic American fiction: Johnny Tremain, The Red Badge of Courage, and My Brother Sam is Dead (but I don't recommend that last one). Even with these books, I just kept seeing how their styles compare with mine.

Johnny Tremain's narrative teaches about colonial silver-smithing; the way my narrative illustrates pre-industrial coal mining. The Red Badge of Courage describes its scenescapes with poetry to contrast its violence, and I considered how my writing could do the same. Even when I read My Brother Sam is Dead, I thought about how its protagonist is stuck in the same location, whereas my characters travel.

I know it's important for a writer to have some leisure in their schedule, but I keep finding things that stir up my brain. That's why I asked a friend for TV recommendations. He directed me to the anime Bleach. This show is terrific and for a while I was able to just watch it. That is, until the story entered its next phase and began featuring plot elements similar to what I want to include in my sequel. So, half of the time, Bleach is exhilarating fun, and the other half is, "Hm. I could learn from this."

All my leisure is learning!

But maybe that's not a bad thing.

Maybe movies and books are best understood as little learning experiences wrapped in escapism.

So, what do I do when I want to relax? Presently, I listen to worship music, play The Legend of Zelda, and look at local art galleries. These mediums seem to be distinct enough from my novel...but even they have their teaching moments. Still, that's not something I should fight. Entertainment shouldn't be mindless. There's greater wonder to be had in movies and books; not when they're absorbed as a passive consumer, but when they're appreciated as an active audience.